


Rapunzel in Violet

by Stoic_Persephone



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Existential Crisis, F/F, F/M, Free Indirect Style, More tags later, POV might change, Probable Smut later on, Reader Is A Skeleton, Reader Is Not Frisk, Reader is a friggin NERD who reads books a lot, Reader is an OC, Second Person Limited, Skelepuns, Skeletons, Slow Burn, Social Anxiety, like super slow, my first undertale fic, post-true pacifist route, reader is a monster, smut will be skippable, there will be angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2018-09-12 17:01:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 13,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9081520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stoic_Persephone/pseuds/Stoic_Persephone
Summary: The Barrier is down. What will happen if you finally get to leave your room after years of being locked away from the rest of the world?





	1. The World Comes Crashing Down

You could hear a shattering sound echo through your chamber. It wasn’t simply the sound of glass breaking, it almost seemed like a shattering of reality. You weren’t sure what it was, or why it happened. You just wanted answers. You pick up the phone Alphys gave you; it was your main access to the world, and the royal scientist only gave it to you because you wouldn’t stop asking for one. You’d broken her down, but Alphys made sure she was the only one you could contact. It wasn’t much, but it was better than waiting for Alphys to stop by to get any sort of socialization, and it saved the yellow reptilian monster several trips when you needed something. You opened your messaging program and began tapping away at the keyboard.

L:  **Alphys. I heard a loud noise, and wish to know what has happened.**

You stared at your phone for two solid minutes. Due to your tendency toward perseverence, Alphys had to tell you to wait five minutes between messages so you’d stop clogging her inbox. But this time you couldn’t contain yourself. What if something went awry in the lab and it was collapsing? What if the Underground itself was collapsing? The lack of answers gnawed at you.

 

L:  **Alphys. I know you don’t like when I do this. I just want to know what happened. I’m expressing my concern for your well-being.**

L:  **Alphys. I can’t see outside.**

L:  **Alphys. My books can’t tell me what happened.**

L:  **Alphys?**

A: ok geez! You can stop now

A: sorry, I was taking care of MTT’s batteries >_<;;

L:  **Mettaton’s batteries caused this?**

A: No! -_-; Lucy, MTT’s batteries haven’t exploded in ages.

L:  **Oh. I apologize for the misunderstanding.**

L:  **Alphys.**

A: I’M TYPING OMG

L:  **Sorry.**

A: you remember the barrier that keeps us down here, right?

L:  **I am aware of it, yes. Did you collect the human Frisk’s soul?**

A: Um, no...Thankfully!

A: But you are right, the barrier is down!

L:  **My condolences. I did not realize a Boss Monster was killed.**

A: No!!

A: Lucy it’s way better

A: Frisk talked their way through the entire Underground!

A: They broke the barrier without hurting anyone!

L:  **I do not understand.**

L:  **My understanding was that the barrier could only fall with the extraction of enough souls.**

A: Me too Lucy!

A: But I’m standing here where the barrier was

A: It’s gone, and everyone’s alive!

L:  **I see.**

L:   **...Alphys?**

A: Yeah?

L:  **Does this mean I can come out now?**

A: Uh...Maybe! I will ask!

L:  **I appreciate it. I would like to meet this Frisk human. Their non-violent techniques intrigue me.**

L:  **Also I never stopped wanting to see what the world is like, both the Underground and... Aboveground?**

L:  **I am unsure what to call this place outside the ex-Barrier.**

L:  **I seem to have forgotten my message etiquette. I apologize. I simply anticipate being able to explore the realm beyond my room, as I have informed you previously.**

A: wow, uh...ok

A: I asked about letting you out

A: Fluffybuns wants to make sure it would be safe for you?

A: A-after all! It could be dangerous! If you got hurt!

 

You sighed, your bony phalanges idly tapping your phone’s screen. You knew Alphys was just being polite. You could easily defend yourself. The problem was the strength of your magic, and that you had the habit of not knowing when to stop.


	2. Four Walls and A Stuffed Skelly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're preparing to head out to explore this new world, but you have to decide what to take with you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for deciding to read my fic! And thanks to the 4 people who decided to bookmark it even though the first chapter wasn't even 600 words long. That surprised me, seeing as I've literally only posted one other fic, and that was forever and a half ago. I know it's only been a couple days since the first chapter but I just couldn't stop myself, this chapter was already half-written anyway. Enjoy!

Deciding which books to take with you was an arduous task. You weren’t sure if you would actually get out, or if you would even get to read out there. This was far from the first time you thought you would get to live life outside, either. Yet you still packed every time, and each time you did, you had even more slightly waterlogged books to choose from. You could try to take them all, of course, but that would hardly be practical. Where would you put them all? To expect spacious enough bookshelves to contain the collection Alphys had salvaged for you over the years was foolhardy at best.  
Your thoughts lingered on the book called Rapunzel. It was a small book with blurred pictures, but you were intrigued each time you read it nonetheless. A young maiden locked away for her own protection until a handsome lad “rescued” her and led her to supposed everlasting happiness. You always wondered if the young woman was dangerous like you, and was kept away from the world to protect others from her uncontrolled power. Perhaps she wrought havoc after being released. What a foolish man, you thought as you laid the book aside to be packed.  
You picked up your phone.

L: Alphys, do you have any news? I am excited about possibly leaving.  
A: Yeah...Actually...I’ll call you!

Sure enough, your phone started buzzing. You accepted the call and lifted it to the side of your skull.  
“Hello, my dear friend,” you said, your voice slightly raspy from disuse.  
“Y-yeah! Hi Lucy!”  
“What news do you have for me to warrant a call?”  
“Well...I-I’ll try to keep this short? I thought it would be faster than t-typing it all out while y-you just waited...Anyway! About the Outside! Um, as in outside with a capital O! I-it...seems safe? It’s actually really beautiful. T-the sky goes on...forever!”  
“I see...Interesting.”  
“A-and everyone else...u-um...we’re all leaving? The Underground, I mean!”  
“Alphys, what about me?”  
“Huh?...OH! Lucy! I-I’m so sorry! That’s what I called for! I-I’m coming to let you out! S-so Just get ready to go!”  
“Alphys, I have been ready for as long as I can remember.”

You turned your phone screen off, a smile lifting the edges of your jaw. You tossed the phone onto your simple bed--a full-sized mattress with a black comforter, decorated with a purple version of the royal insignia--and began to pack with a bit more gusto. You didn’t have much in the way of personal belongings other than books, of course, but you still had to figure out what to take. You realized you didn’t have any sort of container to take your things with you, so you shot Alphys a quick text asking her to bring you a bag or two to put your things in, and went over to your small dresser to figure out which clothes to take.  
Your wardrobe was relatively simple, with a bit of variety. You had several sweaters, since the slightly stagnant chill of the lab proper permeated the space you called home, and your bones did nothing to keep you warm. You chose a few of these, including a cream-colored cable sweater, a purple V-necked sweater, and a black turtleneck. Then you moved to your skirts and pants, opting for a few long skirts with insignias that matched your bedspread and simple black pants. Then you reached for a black leather belt; your pelvis couldn’t keep your pants up without some help, but you only really needed one belt. After this came socks, and your pair of barely-used leather boots. You didn’t exactly go for strolls around the lab, unless Alphys was struck with the need to run tests on you and your soul.  
At this point, it occurred to you that you had no idea what the weather would be like outside. So for good measure, you threw a couple of t-shirts, the surprisingly warm labcoat Alphys found lying around, and a handknitted fuchsia scarf supposedly made by the Queen of monsters herself.  
You sighed and looked around your room one last time. You didn’t exactly have hair on your bones, so beauty products didn’t really exist to you, and you had a few pairs of plain cotton underwear in the pile of clothes on your bed. A plush monster caught the corner of your eye and you hastily grabbed it. You had made it yourself with Alphys’s guidance, and despite your sloppy sewing job, it was dear to you. It was a miniature version of yourself, complete with black felt eyesockets and little fuchsia X’s embroidered to be pupils. It even had a little fuchsia felt heart sewn onto the sternum to make it look like it had a soul. You couldn’t bring yourself to leave behind your polyester-filled companion, so you perched her on top of the small pile of books you’d decided to take with you, and after a few moments of consideration, you decided to change your clothes before you left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how did I do? In this chapter I tried to convey that our little Lucy is pretty unaware of what goes on outside her room, other than what Alphys and her books have told her. I also have the headcanon that skeleton monsters don't necessarily need to bathe? I mean, so long as they don't do anything strenuous or roll in mud or whatever else, it isn't like they have sweat glands or pores.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I'll probably have the next one out by the end of the week. Okay, good talk, leave comments, thanksforreadingbye.


	3. Going Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You finally finish packing and head for the Surface.

You silently praise yourself for deciding to wear a layered outfit as you stuff the last of your belongings into the Mew Mew Kissy Cutie drawstring bag Alphys brought for you before hurrying off to pack her own bag. There was no way you could have fit another sweater into the thing without crushing Elly (That’s right, Elly the Skelly, your doll).  
Sighing with a sense of accomplishment, you pull the drawstring shut and throw your labcoat on over your sweater, hastily buttoning up to your neck. You can’t help but smile to yourself as you put the bag’s straps over your shoulders. How long had you been stuck here? Decades? Centuries? It was difficult to tell, but it all hardly mattered now that you were getting out.  
As if on cue, you heard Alphys’s scaly feet scurry toward your room, and a few short taps on the door followed.  
“L-lucy?” You heard your scaly caretaker say breathlessly as she unlocked the door, “Are you ready?”  
“Yes, I am ready,” you replied.   
Alphys giggled as she opened the door. “You’re certainly i-in a good mood.”  
You stepped toward the threshold, a grin creeping across your jaw. “Why wouldn’t I be? I shall finally have the privilege of exploring the outside world!”  
“Y-yeah! That’s th-the spirit! O-oh, one thing before we go…” Alphys reached into the pocket of her labcoat and pulled out a clear crystal pendant on a sturdy leather cord. “Y-you’ll need to wear this. I-it should absorb any excess m-magic you might use on a-accident, and k-keep your STATs from prying eyes.”  
You gingerly took the necklace and put it on, causing the crystal to glow a faint violet shade. You admired the color for a moment before tucking the stone under your collar. “Thank you, Doctor, I shall wear it always.

* * *

You followed Alphys out of the lab and through Hotland, with a lot of gentle prodding every time you stopped to stare in awe of the scenery. Beads of sweat formed on your brow bone from the heat, but Alphys assured you it would be cold once you left the Underground, and you could endure a little discomfort if it meant being free at last.  
You occasionally saw other monsters hauling whatever belongings they could carry as they rushed past you. You felt a happy jump in your soul knowing you would be far from the only monster eagerly venturing out to the surface for the first time. It felt like, for once, you belonged with them.  
You eventually got to the Core, where monsters were lined up with their baggage to take the elevators. Monster children chased each other around while their parents gushed over what their lives might be like now.  
“I wonder what the weather is like.”  
“Do you think all the humans up there are as nice as Frisk?”  
“I hope humans will accept gold currency!”  
Alphys politely cleared her throat, and it shook you from your casual eavesdropping. Monsters were letting the royal scientist and her follower--you--through in front of them out of respect for her position. The two of you entered the elevator, you with your knapsack and Alphys with her rolling suitcase, and the elevator closed its door and lurched into motion. You both sighed and smiled nervously at each other. Something had been nagging at you the entire walk here, and you finally had the chance to say something.  
“U-um...Alphys…” you started.  
“What is it?”  
“Do you think the others will like me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is about as short as the first one, I figured it will be a lot easier for me in the long run if I keep chapters short and post often instead of writing up really long chapters and probably get burnt out. The chapters will probably get a bit longer as we get past all the introductions and into the good stuff, but we'll see.  
> Feel free to leave comments, criticism, etc. and thanks for reading!


	4. Pies and Sunset

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Surface is far more beautiful than you could have imagined. You also make some new friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh sorry for taking so long this time! This chapter is longer than the other three, and I've been busy with playing a new tabletop system and hanging out with people. Here's the first chapter of 2017!

“It really does go on forever…”  
You’re on the surface at last, and like many of the other monsters gathering on the mountainside, you can’t stop staring in awe at the scenery. Everything’s so vast. You feel more than a little nervous about the complete lack of walls or ceilings, but at this point at least, it’s blending into your excitement.  
The sun was setting, casting all sorts of colors across the sky, and giving the monsters’ faces an orange glow. It felt almost felt like blue magic; if you dared to move, it might ruin everything. However, after the initial awe, some monsters started laying blankets down on the prickly green grass and pulling out food they had brought with them. You feel a tug at your sleeve and break from your reverie to find a child wearing a blue striped shirt staring up at you expectantly. You asked if the child was the human known as Frisk, to which they nodded enthusiastically. After a brief handshake, they asked you to come sit with them. You followed Frisk’s lead to a large checkered blanket where a group of monsters were getting settled, including two goat monsters--assumably the King and Queen(!)--, Alphys sitting next to a fishlike monster with bright red hair--you think you remember Alphys mentioning such a monster was her romantic interest--, and two skeletons, one tall and boisterous and the other shorter with a relaxed smile.

...Wait. Skeletons?!  
You remembered Alphys mentioning that two of her friends were skeleton monsters just like you, but you didn’t expect to meet them like this. You felt a spark of magic threaten to flood your cheekbones as you meekly waved at the group, unsure of what to say. They turned to look at you, and before you could manage to form a sentence, the taller of the two skeletons leaped up and gasped.

“WOWIE! I DID NOT KNOW THAT THERE WAS ANOTHER SKELETON IN THE UNDERGROUND! SANS! WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME?”  
Great. Now everyone was staring at you. Not what you were hoping for after decades of near-complete solitude. You looked over at the other skeleton, who you assumed was Sans, who kept that easy smile on his face and shrugged.  
“i dunno pap, i think this was the new pal alphys was talking about bringing with her.” You weren’t sure how he did it, but this Sans character seemed to audibly speak without any capitalization, as though he didn’t care about proper nouns.  
“Y-yes!” Alphys began, sweating and blushing a bit, “U-um! This is definitely the m-monster I mentioned! Um, u-uh... Lucyintroduceyourselfohmygod”  
You grinned sheepishly at suddenly being put on the spot. “Well, my name is Lucida...But Alphys has called me Lucy for years, so I suppose that would be an appropriate nickname.”  
“AH! LUCY! WHAT AN EXCELLENT NAME FOR A NEW FRIEND OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS!” The taller skeleton grabbed one of your hands in both of his mittened ones and shook you vigorously.  
“Oh, uh...pleasure to meet you, Papyrus…” you managed, politely rescuing your hand from his and cringing slightly.  
“i’m sans,” the shorter said, continuing the introductions, “sans the skeleton. but, heh, i guess i didn’t have to patella you that.”  
“...What,” You responded curtly, feeling your eye socket twitch, “does my patella have to do with anything” You could tell by the growing smirk on Sans’s face that he found it terribly amusing, and you heard Frisk giggling next to you.  
“DO NOT MIND SANS,” Papyrus said, “HE KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT PROPER HUMOR, AND IS PRONE TO PUNS, QUITE POSSIBLY THE LOWEST FORM OF JAPERY.”  
The fish monster cleared her throat loudly. “Excuse me, I didn’t realize this was an awkward family reunion for NERDS!” She grabbed you by the wrist and yanked you down to sit beside her, and you let out a yelp. “C’mon punk, you’re keeping us from eating Toriel’s pie!”  
“We’re pleased to meet you, child,” Toriel said with a sweet smile as she pulled pies out of a wicker basket, “Alphys has told us many good things.”  
You did your best to adjust your coat and shrug your bag off your shoulders while Toriel continued to set pies on the blanket between everyone. You looked behind Undyne at Alphys with a pleading look, who shot you an apologetic smile in return. Neither of you were very graceful when it came to social situations, despite your thorough reading of books on human etiquette. You decided to fold your hands in your lap and focus on the pattern of the blanket in front of you. Unfortunately, as everyone settled on the blanket, you were not escaping conversation so easily.  
“So, how has life been with Alphys, Lucy?” Asgore said, “It’s been far too long since she’s told me anything about your...progress.”  
“Oh, uh…” you began to get flustered, pupils darting around for a way to deflect the question. “I, well...My, these pies look remarkable! It has been a long time since I had a homecooked meal. Simply seeing them is making me very hungry.”  
“Oh, my child,” Toriel chuckled as she began to cut the pies into slices, “Don’t tell me Alphys only fed you the same unhealthy foods she eats herself.”  
“W-well…” Alphys said, fidgeting with her hands, “I don’t e-exactly know how to cook much else...:”  
“I SHALL HAVE TO REMEDY THIS!” Papyrus said, striking a pose despite having sat back down, “MY NEW SKELETON FRIEND, YOU HAVE SIMPLY NOT *LIVED* UNTIL YOU HAVE TRIED SPAGHETTI COOKED BY THE MASTER CHEF PAPYRUS!” You swore you could see his orange scarf flapping in the wind, despite there being a distinct lack of wind in the area.  
“Huhuhuhu, I don’t think we want her to get food poisoning,” Undyne replied, “You might wanna turn down that offer, punk.” she lightly punched your shoulder, or rather her version of lightly punching. You practically toppled over into Sans, who was sitting between you and Papyrus.  
“Ya might wanna ease up there, undyne,” sans said as you quickly righted yourself and your cheekbones turned a deep purple, “I think you might have...rattled her bones.”  
You shot Sans a glare, but noticed that you were, in fact, shaking a bit. You crossed your arms.  
“I’m just fine,” you said defiantly, “my bones remain unrattled, thank you very much. I am simply a bit nervous about this whole...surface thing, and well, it has been a very long time since I have interacted with monsters other than Alphys.”  
“Don’t worry, child,” Toriel said with a warm smile, “Coming to the surface has been a new experience for all of us, and I’m sure we will be able to learn how to live up here together. Now, eat as much pie as you’d like, there is plenty for everyone and I’m sure it will help ease your nerves.” With that, she started to plate the pieces of pie and pass them around. Remembering a book you read on table manners, you passed the plates to the two other skeletons before keeping one for yourself, and waited for everyone else to get a plate before tucking in. Much to your distaste, Sans appeared not to have any such sense of etiquette, and had started to eat his piece as soon as he got it, but you decided to avoid another confrontation and stayed silent as you finally took a bite.  
You may have been bluffing about wanting to eat the pie as soon as you saw it, but you were certainly honest about how good it tasted. Despite not being fresh, each bite caused a warm, tingling sensation to spread through your entire body, and you eventually stopped shuddering. It tasted like butterscotch...wait, no. Cinnamon? The two flavors intermingled flawlessly in the pie. And the crust was flaky and baked to perfection. You were in heaven, and before you knew it you had eaten three slices, and your anxiety melted away with the setting sun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I should be writing more and/or longer chapters now, my New Year's Resolution for 2017 is to try to right a thousand words a day. Yesterday I only got to about 300, but today I managed to hit a thousand exactly! I hope drawing things out a bit more didn't make it awkward or bad writing, let me know if it doesn't flow properly or anything like that. :X


	5. Lucy in the Sky with Cubic Zirconium

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans makes bad jokes and you get mad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aren't my summaries so helpful?
> 
> I think they are.

You were staring at the sky again. How could it change so much in so little time? Earlier it was adorned with a wide gradient of pinks and purples and oranges, and now it was coated with little pinpricks of light, some brighter than others. A hush had fallen over the other monsters; some had fallen asleep, but most were also gazing skyward. A few had gone back into the Underground, unsure what they were to do now that the Barrier was down. 

Frisk had fallen asleep leaning into Toriel’s fur, and Asgore had quietly gone back into his home in the Underground. Alphys and Undyne were snuggled together on the edge of the picnic blanket, gazing at the stars and each other. You figured it would be impolite to interrupt them, despite the slight pangs of jealousy you felt. It wasn’t that you had any sort of romantic feelings for Alphys. You simply didn’t have anyone else you felt comfortable talking to. Being shut in a room for so long had definitely taken its toll on you, and it was becoming painfully obvious now that you actually had the opportunity to socialize.

“hey there pal, you’re lookin pretty bonely sitting by yourself,” a lazy voice said from behind you. You yelped at the sudden intrusion on your thoughts, and felt magic start to surge through you to defend yourself, but--thankfully-- the crystal sitting against your sternum warmed as you felt the errant magic being wicked away. Once you registered that it was Sans who ad inexplicably appeared behind you, you turned to stare at him, eye sockets narrowed.

“I wasn’t aware that being around another skeleton would involve bad jokes  _ and  _ nearly having my soul leap right out of my body,” you said, frowning as you laid a hand over your chest as if to make sure your soul was still safely in your ribcage. “I thought you had to return to your old domicile to attend to Papyrus.”

Sans shrugged and grinned. “Not afraid of a spooky skeleton, are ya? As for paps, he always falls asleep halfway through his bedtime story.”

“Such a statement does not explain how you got here so promptly.”

Another shrug. “I know a shortcut.”

With an indignant harrumph, you returned your gaze to the stars.

“So, ah. Mind if I sit here?” Sans asked, audibly scratching the back of his cranium. “Everyone else seems pretty snuggled up over there, and that sorta thing ain’t exactly my kinda fun.”

You heave an exasperated sigh and roll your pupils in their sockets without turning back around. “Will that make you stop telling horrendous jokes?”

“Nah, not gonna make a promise I can’t keep. Besides, my jokes are hilarious”

“Just sit down. There is clearly no stopping your warped sense of humor.”

Sans flopped onto the blanket next to you, his hands shoved into the pockets of his fur-lined jacket, and silently watched the stars as the Earth slowly rotated beneath them.

“Pretty amazing,” Sans said, startling you a bit. “Y’know, I read plenty of books about stars back in the Underground, but I figured a lot of them were just being dramatic about how great the sky is. Guess I was wrong.”

You raised your brow bone at this. “I didn’t expect someone as crass as yourself would appreciate literature as refined as that.”

“Ouch, kid,” Sans replied with a smirk, “Didn’t anyone ever tell ya not to judge a book by its cover?”

“Okay,” you admit, throwing your hands up in defeat, “I suppose I may have misjudged you. And perhaps you have the potential to tell some less-than-horrid jokes.” You weren’t about to admit that the tie-in between discussing literature and the common idiom was a good one. However, your growing smirk betrayed you.

“Heh, I dunno,” Sans’s grin grew to the widest you’d seen it yet, “I think maybe I finally hit your funny bone with that one.”

You groan in exasperation, palming your forehead. “I think maybe you should enjoy the scenery without speaking.”

“Ok”

He didn’t speak another word, but that shit-eating grin didn’t leave his face for the rest of the night as the two of you silently stargazed until the sky grew pale. So much for him making a good second impression on you and making you think you’d misjudged his sense of humor. Still, you were relieved by the fact that you might share your love of reading in common with another monster.


	6. Sleepy Observations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans makes another bad joke. Afterwards, he thinks about you for a little bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the short chapter. I've been sick the past few days, and trying to take it easy as much as I can. If the chapter seems weird at all, it's because I wrote at least part of it while having a fever. I hope you enjoy it anyway!

“Hey, kid. Ya might wanna wake up and see this.”

You grumbled something about not being hungry yet and covered your face with your arm, but that only gained you a gentle shaking from Sans. You took a sharp, stuttering breath and yawned, sitting up. You weren’t sure when you had fallen asleep. Once your fear of the dark expanse above you subsided, the gentle twinkling of the stars must have lulled you to sleep. You opposite opened your sockets to find that same beautiful color palette from last night splashed across the side of the sky.

“Pretty great,” you mumbled happily before flopping onto your back once more, ”although I find it unfortunate that we seem to have no idea where we’re going now that we’re free.”

“Sure,” Sans said with a lazy yawn, “but I know exactly where I’m gonna go right now.”

“Oh? And where might that be?”

You hear him snoring in response. You seethe silently. Going to sleep was decidedly not a place to go, you decided. However, a bit more rest wouldn’t hurt.

* * *

Sans’s POV

 

When Sans woke up, he looked over to find you still fast asleep. He still couldn’t grasp how you existed. He and Papyrus had been the only skeleton monsters for as long as he could remember. When Alphys mentioned to him that she would be bringing a friend with her, he wasn’t sure what to expect, but definitely not you. He’d never seen you before. Another one of Alphys’s experiments, maybe? This wouldn’t be the first one Alphys managed to keep from him, but certainly the first one she’d been able to keep for so long. You looked to be around his age, maybe a little younger than Papyrus, even. But you couldn’t be related to him if you were younger than Papyrus. That was impossible. Their mother had died soon after Papyrus was born, and their father...well. Their father was definitely out of the picture, Sans recalled with a grimace. And skeleton monsters were pretty rare, especially if neither of your parents were skeletons, which was the only conclusion Sans could rationally come to.

According to what Alphys had said to him, you had been living with her for a pretty long time. How, then, had Sans never met you…? Sans knew every monster in the Underground. Hell, he’d even stopped by the True Lab on occasion to check in on the Amalgamates. Yet somehow you had eluded him.

Sans decided he wanted to know more about you. Of course, he could have just looked at your SOUL while you were sleeping, but that was a line he certainly wasn’t going to cross. What magic he could sense humming from your SOUL seemed innocent enough, but he could tell something was off. Alphys was undoubtedly using one of her inventions to hide something about you.

The short skeleton sighed and slowly got up, lazily rubbing the bags under his eyesockets. He needed to have a private conversation with Alphys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm, curiouser and curiouser. Where did Lucy come from? Who are her parents? Why has Alphys hidden you all this time? I guess you'll just have to find out when you find out. I will mention that I've been working on a chapter that won't happen for quite a while. It will reveal a lot of Lucy's past and lemme tell ya, it ain't exactly gonna be all sunshine and rainbows. Then again, that much might be kinda obvious by now. ^^; Thanks for all the kudos! Feel free to leave comments, even if they're to say that my fic is complete garbage, I just really like getting feedback on my writing. I should get at least the next chapter up by the end of the week, and then I hope we can really get the plot going.


	7. Serious Business

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A couple of nerds have a chat about you.
> 
> *this chapter is also from Sans's POV*
> 
> PS: HOLY CRAP YOU GUYS. OVER 500 HITS?! This fic has only been going for a couple weeks! Thank you so much for reading!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahahahahaha  
> I'm not even a little bit sorry

“so...ya just found the kid in the lab with nothin’ hinting at where she came from,” Sans summarized, pinching the space between his eye sockets as his brow bone furrowed.

“Y-yes,” Alphys replied, “That’s right…”

“so then tell me this, al,” Sans began, putting his hand back into his pocket, “why didn’cha try to find her parents? seems that shoulda been step one after findin’ an orphaned monster kid.” Something struck him as fishy about the whole situation, and it certainly wasn’t Undyne(heh), who was off doing morning drills in the sunshine with the Royal Guard.

“S-sans, you underestimate me!” Alphys beamed, clearly proud of herself, “I checked the database of all the magical signatures that f-families pass down and...hers didn’t show up a-anywhere.”

“...huh.” Sans squinted up at the blue sky. A few cottony clouds drifted lazily overhead, and the sunlight warmed his skull as he contemplated Alphys’s findings, or lack thereof. “You’re sayin’ she’s some kinda anomaly, then.” Maybe even a  _ timeline _ anomaly, he added to himself with pointed interest.

“W-well, by definition, yes. The closest magic I could find was...yours, I guess? B-but, I mean, that’s o-only to the extent that she’s a skeleton!”

The pinpricks in Sans’s eye sockets disappeared momentarily. He made a quick mental note to check on the state of the timelines. He hadn’t checked them much recently, but your lack of a clear origin didn’t sit right. Something was up, and he intended to figure it out. Remembering where he was, Sans perked up, pasting his default smile on his face as his pupils returned. No need to alarm anyone because of some half-baked hunch.

“well, al, if  _ unique _ my help, i’ll keep an  _ eye socket _ out for Lucy’s  _ well-see-ing. _ ” Sans wasn’t about to let his thoughts get to him enough to show through his demeanor. Gotta keep the jokes flowing, he reminded himself.

Alphys rolled her eyes with a grin. “Go ahead,” she said, “it’ll be g-good for her to start s-socializing with y-you and Papyrus anyway.” She glanced over to the picnic blanket where you were still peacefully snoozing away with a gentle smile on your face, then smirked and gave Sans a pointed look. “J-just don’t t-try anything! That I wouldn’t approve of!”

Sans covered his mouth with a skeletal hand and coughed, cyan pooling around his cheekbones. That lizard and her weird ideas. Apparently a skeleton wasn’t allowed to doze off near someone without falling prey to the Royal Scientist’s shipping. He grinned to himself as he quickly came up with a response to avoid suspicion. He shrugged and dropped his hand to his side. “not gonna promise that, al,” he countered, “i don’t think i’d wanna do half the stuff ya  _ would _ approve of. but really though, i ain’t so  _ bonely _ that i’ll try to  _ bone _ the first  _ vertebabe _ i meet.  _ Patella _ the truth, she doesn’t even find my jokes  _ humerus _ . ‘m not gonna try my luck with someone who thinks i’m a complete  _ numbskull _ .

By now Alphys’s face had turned all sorts of red, and gave Sans a very unamused glare. “Sans, be serious. She’s like a little sister to me.”

“but al,” Sans replied, feigning injury, “i am. you could even say i’m…”

“SANS DON’T--!”

“ _ dead serious. _ ”

“Sans I am leaving to wake up Lucy this conversation is over now goodbye.”

Sans grinned as Alphys scampered over to you in a flustered mess. Mission accomplished. No one embarrasses the pun master without getting a thorough  _ ribbing _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you thought Lucy's distaste of puns was gonna make the puns stop
> 
> /You're gonna have a bad time/
> 
> So I actually filled up the journal I've been using for writing and doodling and other fuckery with this chapter. I've been using that thing for five years, feels weird, man.
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter. Next up we'll find out what the game plan will be regarding the monsters' living situation and diplomacy. There will probably be less dialogue and a bit more world building, so look forward to it!


	8. Announcements

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asgore gives a speech.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, it's me again. I was expecting to make this chapter longer, but it seemed pretty finished at this point, and I don't want to keep y'all waiting too long for chapters. Sorry for taking so long, but I'm over that nasty head cold now. Lucky me, my depression has started acting up in its place...So sorry if the writing isn't so great, my brain decided I should feel like garbage and question everything I do;;

After a short breakfast with Alphys(surprise: it was instant noodles), you became aware of monsters filing back into the Underground. You overheard conversations about Asgore announcing on Undernet that he’d be giving a speech. You asked Alphys about it, and she blushed and apologized for not upgrading your phone yet, promising to do so once things had settled down more. Undyne and Papyrus came up to the two of you, both glistening with sweat from the drills Undyne was leading with the Royal Guard. Undyne draped a muscular, scaly arm around Alphys and gave her a sweaty hug, which made the yellow reptilian turn bright pink. Papyrus greeted you with the same loud enthusiasm as the night before, insisting that you accompany him to the king’s speech. Something about Papyrus’s expectant smile was disarming, and you couldn’t help but agree with a smile, especially since it seemed Undyne was planning on monopolizing your yellow caretaker for the time being. You’d prefer to at least be stuck in the crowd with a face you already knew.

The group of you made your way to the courtyard in front of Asgore’s modest home, where you could see speakers lining the paths down to Hotland for those monsters who wouldn’t be able to get close enough. As the area becomes more and more crowded, you and Papyrus get separated from Alphys and Undyne. Papyrus manages to stay next to you, wringing his mittened hands in anticipation. You marvel at his ability to withstand the heat in this place; you’ve already shed your lab coat and sweater, and are down to your black t-shirt and skirt. Why Asgore lived so close to the near-unbearable heat of the Core is beyond you, especially with all that fur.

As you’re bumped into once again by the monsters surrounding you, you have to remind yourself not to dwell on the crowded space. Going from the wide open surface to this crowded cavern left you feeling suffocated. Papyrus places a hand on your shoulder as if to reassure you, and you’re grateful for the contact. You’re brought back to earth and smile at him in gratitude,but your attention is quickly brought in front of you as a hush quickly washes over the crowd. Asgore towers over everyone with a smile that verges on apologetic, while Toriel stands next to him with a stern expression. No wonder the silence was rapid; the Queen of Monsters had the type of motherly aura that was kind, but with a sense of some unfathomable fury bubbling just underneath, the likes of which no monster in their right mind would want to experience.

Asgore cleared his throat audibly before the deep bass of his voice boomed throughout the cavern.

“Citizens of the Underground,” he began, “my friends...thank you. Due to your combined efforts, New Home has been a peaceful place to live for centuries.” Applause ensues, but Asgore raises a furry paw for silence. “Thanks folks, really, but now, we are on the cusp of a new chapter in history, thanks to the human named Frisk.” At this, Frisk shyly peeks out from behind Toriel’s gown, blushing as another round of applause bubbles up from the crowd. Again, they’re soon silenced.

“As I’m sure you’re aware by now, the barrier has been broken. After a thousand years of little to no sunlight, we can finally leave. Some of us have already taken the chance to get fresh air and feel grass under our paws. As one of the few old enough to remember life before the Great War, I can definitely say the outside is just as amazing as it was all those centuries ago. However, that brings us to the questions at the front of all our minds right now: what now? How will the humans react to our return, after having been the ones to seal us away in the first place? Where will we live now that we potentially have the entire surface of the world to settle? Will we stay together to retain strength in numbers and our well-formed sense of community, or will we live among the humans peacefully as we once did?” Asgore tousled Frisk’s hair affectionately and sighed. “I wish I could tell you I had all the answers, folks, but I don’t. I will have the answers, I can promise you all that, but it might take a while. Rest assured, I’m not about to lead us all into another war, after all we’ve endured. Which is why Toriel, Frisk, and a few members of our Royal guard will be going to the closest human settlement to reintroduce ourselves to the world and discuss a peace treaty between monsters and humans. I’m not going with them because, well…” a sheepish smile spread across his muzzle, “a big, intimidating guy like me walking around wouldn’t look very diplomatic.”

The crowd buzzed with monsters trying to reassure Asgore that he’s not scary at all, with a few shouts of “FLUFFYBUNS!” echoing throughout. You thought you could almost see a faint blush rise to his fuzzy cheeks. Toriel took the chance to step up to her microphone and clear her throat, making the crowd fall silent in record time.

“Our diplomatic mission will be departing today,” Toriel said with a smile, “but we ask that the rest of you stay in your homes underground. I’m terribly sorry, but it’s for your safety until we know exactly where we stand with the humans. The world on the surface may have changed more than we know. We shall be in contact with all of you as soon as we can, so please be patient for just a bit longer. Thank you.” Toriel gave Asgore a pointed look, and both of them retreated into his house, Frisk skipping happily after them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot? In my fic??? Yup, it's gonna be a thing. Don't worry, the skeleton shenanigans will be back next chapter, I promise. I just needed something to make it feel like the story will actually go somewhere lolol
> 
> I'm probably not gonna have such a crazy update schedule anymore, and keep it to a reasonable 1-2 chapters a week. I'm not exactly pumping out a thousand words a day like I hoped I would, but I promise I have been writing every day!
> 
> Thanks for reading~


	9. Back to the Lab

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Alphys go back to the lab and start doing some cleaning. Sans is there too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, did you guys miss me? All eight of you? XD
> 
> Another short chapter, but I promise I've definitely been writing! I've just been mostly writing stuff for future chapters, and my SAD is in full swing, so I'm just happy I've gotten this much written. I've only had three days all year where I didn't write a single sentence! Also, thanks to sinnabee, who helped me get through some minor writer's block I had wit this chapter, and has been very supportive from the beginning of this fic! My apologies for completely forgetting my HTML and failing to link her name.
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!

Soon after the king’s speech, Alphys found you in the crowd, and after a rib-crushing hug from Papyrus, who was going back to his home in Snowdin, the two of you went back to the lab. You felt the tension in your bones release a bit as you walked away from the crowd, your lab coat draped over an arm. You were expecting to go straight from your room to living on the surface, but it seemed you might be getting a more gradual transition, much to your relief.

Alphys chattered away to you about the things you’d be helping her do in the next few days, now that you weren’t confined to your room. As the two of you finally reached the lab after several elevator rides through the Core and Hotland, the automatic door slid open to reveal Sans, who appeared to be napping in Alphys’s desk chair with his hands folded on his abdomen.

“What is  _ he _ doing here?” you hissed at Alphys.

“O-oh, um…  I might have forgotten I‘d asked him for help around the lab until we hear back from Toriel? A-although it looks like he fell asleep?”

Sans’s eye sockets, which up to that point had been open but dark, lit up, and he leaned farther back in the chair to stretch his arms over his head and let out a yawn. “wasn’t  sleeping,” he said lazily, “just resting my eye sockets til you two showed up.”

“I only hope you will not ‘rest your eye sockets’ while we work,” you snapped, dropping your bag and coat indignantly by the door. This monster barged in here before you and Alphys got back and had the gall to  _ sleep _ at Alphys’s desk? Did he even show up to the speech? Plus, who knows, he could have seriously breached her privacy and gone through some very sensitive files.

“I-if it were any other work, h-he probably would,” Alphys said, pulling you out of your thoughts, “but he’s pretty handy around a lab!”

You raised your brow bones at this, but Sans just shrugged off the compliment with a drowsy smile. 

“eh, i dabble. used to be an intern here, but uh… lost interest in the job part.”

You shook your head and sighed. It was clear Sans wasn’t going to explain any further. You were still failing to grasp how he could really be helpful with an attitude like that, but you decide to drop it and get to work. “If you would  _ please _ vacate that chair, I must tend to my duties, starting with cleaning this work space.” You kept your eyes locked on his as you said that, keeping an overly formal tone to veil your hostility. You wondered if someone so lazy could muster the ability to see that. Probably not.

“Lucyyy! There’s n-no need for you to act so formal. I-I mean. It’s just Sans. He’s about as informal as they come.”

“Ah. I see. Well then.” You felt a devilish grin split your face that might rival Sans’s, and you walk over to the desk chair, grabbing the back and the edge of the seat and leaning over the lounging skeleton. He looked at you with a puzzled look on his face, and before he could react any further, you unceremoniously tipped the chair over, sending a flailing Sans tumbling to the tile floor. Alphys howled and snorted with laughter at your antics, while Sans lay on the floor in shock, blinking. After a moment, he sat up, his usual smirk returned to his face, and he looked up at you.

“damn babe, shouldn’t you serenade me before you sweep me off my feet?”

You gave him a deathly glare, your pupils shrinking.

“ _ Move _ .”

“ouch. tough crowd.”

You felt smug and accomplished as he got up and retreated from you, raising his hands in defeat. You started cleaning up the dozens of empty plastic and styrofoam cups form instant noodles littering the desk, the owner of which was leaning against a wall to steady herself from her spirited belly-laughing. Sans had seemed to find joy in rubbing you the wrong way since you met him, but you weren’t going to put up with it. The line had been drawn, and you just showed him a taste of what would happen if he dared cross it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, that happened. I want to proudly introduce Lucy the Sass Master. She'll be making a return appearance next chapter, so look forward to it! ;D


	10. Good Clean Fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans cracks a bunch of jokes while you try to get some work done.  
> It's a bad time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, apparently I'm getting used to the whole writing every day thing. Plus we're getting past the introductory part of the fic. Which means longer chapters! Yay!
> 
> Hmm? Tags? What? I don't know what you're talking about. Who are you?!

You expected Sans to keep quiet for a while, and unexpectedly, he did. You began to clean up the messy lab while Alphys and Sans sorted various lab notes and files. Only the sound of Alphys quietly humming the opening theme of some human show she’d watched accompanied the sounds of your cleaning and their shuffling of papers. After all the excitement of the past day, it felt nice to be in a calm, pristine environment. You’d come to associate the white walls and fluorescent lights of the lab with safety and relative comfort, and since you’d ventured out of your room, it seemed your surroundings were exclusively the polar opposite. Your eyebrows furrowed, the monotony of your work allowing your mind to wander. You had already acknowledged to yourself that you were going to have to endure a lot of discomfort from now on. It was the price you were going to have to pay for finally getting your wish to be free after so many years. You were going to have to interact with a lot of monsters and, presumably, humans as well. Thankfully, you’d read many books on human etiquette, so hopefully you had that covered, but...there weren’t exactly books on how to interact with other monsters. Alphys had answered as many questions as she could about life as a monster when your books were lacking, but...in the end, neither you nor she were terribly apt at interacting with others, and being stuck in the lab 24/7 for a few centuries did you no favors.

Once you’d finished clearing the garbage from Alphys’s desk, you walked over to the broom closet to grab a mop and bucket for cleaning the floor. As you filled your bucket with cleaning solution, you heard two gentle knocks on the open door, making you nearly jump out of your skin. You peered out to see Sans leaning against the wall, hands stuffed in his pockets.

“Slacking off, I see.”

“aw c’mon, this isn’t how knock knock jokes work.”

“So you’re here to harass me, then?”

“nah, lighten up bud, you’ll like this one.”

“Fine….Start over then.”

“knock knock”

“Who’s there?”

“interrupting cow.”

“What’s a co--”

“moo”

Your grip tightened on the mop’s handle, somehow gritting your teeth together tighter as well. With a forced grin, you turned to Sans. “Ha...haha...Well then, I have one for you…A joke...”

Sans raised a brow bone. “alright, lemme have it.”

The pupils in your eyes flickered out for a moment. “The joke’s on you,” you said, swinging the mop at his face.

“heh, good one, kiddo,” Sans replied from directly behind you, making you yelp, “i might even call it  _ humerus _ .” He poked your upper arm for emphasis, and you seethed. He must have been expecting your rebuttal that time. Although, how did he get behind you..?

With a huff, you swatted Sans’s hand away, picking up a bucket full of soapy water and marching off to clean the floor. You were going to win this battle of wits. You weren’t going to let his grinning face get the best of you. You--

“not to burst your  _ bubble _ or anything,” Sans said, “but my jokes will  _ wipe the floor _ with you.”

“I find that hard to believe,” you replied. So he’d followed you. You glared at him in your peripherals while you soaked the mop in the bucket and started scrubbing away at dirty footprints and skid marks on the tiles. “Don’t you have work to do?”

Sans shrugged at this. “i’m takin’ a break. but don’t worry, i promise this will only be good  _ clean _ fun.” You paused your work to lean against the mop handle and gave him a weary look. You weren’t sure how much longer you could put up with this guy’s antics. You needed a new strategy.

“knock knock?”

“You really don’t stop, do you?”

“nope, not really. knock knock”

“...Who’s there?”

“madam “

“...Madam who?”

“madam foot’s stuck in the door, let me in!”

You narrowed your eyes at him. You saw your opportunity. “Seems the only thing around here that needs cleaning is  _ your dirty fucking mouth _ .” Sans’s grin faded for a moment, his pupils wide, but then he burst into laughter. You weren’t sure if this was the reaction you were hoping for, but at least he found the insult as amusing as you did. Finally, he laughed at a joke that was worthwhile. However, much to your dismay, Sans started to smirk at you.

“i dunno, babe, seems like your mouth needs  _ washing out _ too.” His smirk grew as you felt your magic heat your cheekbones. What was with that nickname? It bothered you. It felt like Sans was being overly familiar with you, and you didn’t like it. You had only met him the previous night, and here he was, calling you "babe". It was clear he hadn’t gotten the message you’d tried to send by dumping him out of the desk chair. Did this skeleton have no sense of boundaries? You racked your brain for options as you stopped listening to him and zoned out into your cleaning. What could possibly get him to back off? Clearly ignoring him wasn’t working; he would probably just keep badgering you with his jokes until you cracked. So maybe you had to make him crack first? Okay, you thought to yourself, deep breaths. Jokes. You can definitely do this. Okay, maybe something that seems like it will be as overly familiar as Sans calling you “babe”? Great. You’ve got this.

“Knock knock.”

“wait a second...are you gonna tell a knock knock joke?” You looked up at sans to see shock in his eyes. Good.

“I’ve been told that sort of response isn’t appropriate. Knock. Knock.”

“ok, who’s there?”

“A cute.” You saw Sans’s cheekbones flood with cyan. You had him now. He was falling prey to your clever plan.

“u-uh... a cute who?” You saw a bead of sweat form on his brow. Perfect.

You grinned at him and looked him right in the eyes, stretching out the silence for effect. Then, the grin still plastered on your face, your pupils flickered out. “ _A cute-ly_ _sick of your nonsense_.” You kept watching as his expression change from flustered to confused, to shocked and then to a mixture of shock and amusement. 

“w-well shit, kid,” Sans finally said, scratching his skull, “ya got me with that one, heh.”

“Good,” you replied, looking very pleased with yourself, “now leave me to my work, unless you’d like to continue to harass me with your crass nicknames.”

“...oh. shit, sorry, didn’t know i was botherin’ ya. i thought you were just havin’ fun. but uh, my break’s probably over now, so i’ll get outta your way.” Looking a bit dejected, but a grin still plastered on his face, Sans retreated back to Alphys, who had been trying(very poorly) to look like she wasn’t eavesdropping, and jumped when Sans tapped her on her shoulder and asked for more work.

You almost felt bad for being so harsh. You weren’t about to admit it, but trying to out-joke him was probably the most exciting thing you’d done in quite some time. It went against nearly everything you’d read on etiquette, but it was oddly liberating; your bones felt far less tense than when you were nearly crushed in the crowd during the King’s speech, and you felt the edges of your mouth curling into a smile despite your best efforts. However, you stood by what you did; you felt you got your point across, and you needed to get your work done. If Sans just stood around you and told terrible jokes all day, you wouldn’t be able to focus on your work long enough to get anything clean, and who knew exactly when the diplomatic party would be returning. Occasionally, Sans would walk by you, and you could’ve sworn you almost saw him frown as he did so. 

The rest of your work went without any further interruptions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, this chapter was a wild ride.
> 
> True story: yesterday my boyfriend and I made a buttload of pasta and tomato sauce, and all I could think was "This is it. I'm broken. I can't make or eat pasta without thinking of Papyrus the entire time." yeah ok cool story how is this relevant move on
> 
> Next chapter may or may not involve copious amounts of pasta.
> 
> EDIT: HOLY GUACAMOLE YOU GUYS! 1000 HITS! Next update, I'm gonna post TWO chapters instead of one to celebrate. The first of the two is kind of like a bonus chapter? It's gonna be before the pasta shenanigans. You'll find out. Thanks for your support! Yes, even you. The one who just reads fics without any further interaction? It's ok. I got u too. Thanks for reading. <3


	11. Bone-us Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The surprise is spaghetti.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I would post this chapter and the next at the same time, but I wanna keep my goal of at least one chapter a week, so here you go! There's even a cute little gif of Lucy in the end notes(once I can figure out how the hell to put gifs there), courtesy of my lovely friend sinnabee. check her stuff out on AO3 and tumblr, it's pretty fantastic!

Sans was watching you work when he knew you weren’t looking. You were an absolute puzzle to him. He’d never met someone who didn’t warm up to him quickly. Maybe after being stuck in that damn time loop for who knows how long, he wasn’t sure how to approach something different, something that lay outside those cursed days. Sans already knew the time loop had worn him down to a constant state of nihilistic apathy, but when you had pushed his jokes away and told him that his nicknames were unwanted, the words actually  _ stung _ . Now there was a feeling he’d long forgotten. Sure, monsters in the time loop occasionally did the same thing, but...It was normal. Expected. 

Nothing about you had been expected.

After a few hours of poring over lab notes, he found his thoughts wandering to your distaste toward him again. What a pain. Things like this usually rolled off him like they were nothing. Yet here he was, wondering how to make amends like a sentimental dope. For all he knew, you could be secretly plotting to dust him. That would make much more sense. Make things easier. But he couldn’t be sure, and Alphys had assured him you were just some orphaned monster she found.

He needed to figure out what was up with this timeline. In all his notes of previous timelines, you never showed up, even in the ones where everyone made it to the surface, he’d never met you. Did you have something to do with…?

No. Sans shook his head a bit as he started packing three-ring binders into labelled boxes. That train of thought didn’t matter. Sans doubted you even knew about that guy...

Gaster.

That name, though. Lucida. Your name was a font, like Sans, like Papyrus. But maybe that was just a tradition for skeleton monsters, or Alphys decided to follow the theme.

Sans needed to know more about you. And yes, he thought to himself with a wince, he needed to clear his damn conscience and make sure you didn’t hate him for calling you “babe”.

Damn it, he hadn’t even meant anything by it. He was saying  teasing Alphys for hounding him about staying away from you, not...whatever you thought he was doing. Hitting on you? Coming on to you? No way. He wasn’t that kind of skeleton. He got nervous when he joked around with the Queen of Monsters, for cripes’ sake. He wasn’t gonna try to, heh, jump your bones just because you were both skeletons. For all he knew, you could be related.

Sans nearly dropped a binder in shock of his own thought processes. No. He’d promised himself not to go down that rabbit hole. It wasn’t important. For now, he was going to help Alphys out, and she was going to let him use some of the old equipment in return. There was no use overthinking these things anyway, Sans reminded himself with chagrin, after all. There was always a chance the kid would reset. 

A depressingly big chance. 

Sans’s eyes darted over to where you were wiping down countertops with disinfectant and a clean rag.

You were a new anomaly.

Maybe...this new development meant a slightly smaller chance of the kid resetting.

You caught him staring at you as he walked by with an armload of old newspapers. He quickly looked away with a slight grimace.

Or maybe he was just being an idiot, getting his hopes up again. Yeah, that was probably it.

But he still needed to get to know you.

Yeah, he was being a  _ huge _ idiot.

* * *

Finally, the three of you were at a breaking point.

Sans shoved a hand into his pocket, holding his phone with the other. Now seemed as good a time as any to see if Papyrus had messaged him. Unsurprisingly, there were several new messages.

BROTHER, I AM CURRENTLY PLANNING OUR DINNER, AND I REALIZED I HAVE COMMITTED A TERRIBLE FRIENDSHIP FAUX PAS AND FORGOT TO ASK OUR NEW SKELETON FRIEND FOR HER PHONE NUMBER.

I WISHED TO INVITE HER, AND SINCE YOU ARE CURRENTLY AT ALPHYS’S HOUSE, COULD YOU ASK HER FOR ME? I THINK IT WOULD BE FUN.

OH BUT DON’T TELL HER WHAT DINNER IS, I WANT IT TO BE A SURPRISE.

Sans grinned at his phone’s screen. He pocketed the phone, and walked over to where you and Alphys were making tea with water from an electric kettle. Now he had the perfect excuse to figure you out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be a gif here eventually. Until then it'll just be my icon. :'D
> 
> EDIT 2-27-17: Holy shit guys I'm so sorry. I ran out of refills for my prescription antidepressants, and I am nearly incapable of initiating important phone calls to, oh, say, the doctor, so my life has been kind of a train wreck for the past couple of weeks. I promise I haven't abandoned RiV, especially right before the pasta happens. I'm just a complete mess mentally right now so I've been playing a lot of video games instead of writing every day OTL  
> But I promise RiV has constantly been on my mind, and I've been occasionally attempting to figure out how the hell to draw skeletons with next to zero knowledge of actual anatomy. Bear with me, okay guys? The chapter will come, it just might take a while.


	12. The Chapter With No Spaghetti

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We're very, very sorry that we got it wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I'm functioning a bit better now, and I WAS gonna have the spaghetti in this chapter, but then I realized how long the chapter already was, I was at a good breaking point, and I wanted to give you guys SOMETHING to show some signs of life in this fic. I feel really bad for not posting any chapters for an entire month, so here you go.

“Wait, what?! Do you have a habit of asking monsters to accompany you to dinner after they tell you to leave them well enough alone?”

Sans’s smirk grew a little wider. “nah, actually it’s paps who wants me to invite ya. i think he might even be making something edible.”

Your expression visibly softened. “Ah, well, I suppose that is significantly less malicious.” You touched your shoulder where Papyrus had placed his hand to comfort you earlier and smiled. Papyrus was a kind monster. Even if it meant dealing with Sans, sharing a meal with Papyrus might even be...fun?

“‘course, “ Sans continued, “we’d hafta ask al if it’s alright.”

“A-AH IT’S FINE SHE CAN DEFINITELY GO SHE NEEDS FRIENDS AND IT WOULD BE GOOD FOR HER TO SEE OTHER PARTS OF THE UNDERGROUND AND--” Alphys had peeked around the corner and started blathering, but then her face turned a bright pink and she hid her face in her claws. She’d clearly been eavesdropping on the entire conversation, and got ahead of herself. “U-uh, I mean…i-it would do her some g-good to socialize! And you two are p-pretty easy to get along with, s-so it might be...easier for her to get to know you first?” She smiled sheepishly, peering between her claws at the two of you.

“well that answers that question, heh,” Sans said, turning back to you, “so kid, whadda ya say? wanna hang out with a coupla  _ boneheads _ ?” he rapped his skull for emphasis.

“Oh, alright,” you replied, rolling your pupils in your eye sockets, “I suppose it would at least liven up my steady diet of instant noodles.” Despite your attempt to act aloof, however, you felt your magic threatening to turn your entire face violet. A meal with two other monsters seemed oddly...personal. You reflexively clutched at the crystal pendant lying hidden between your shirt and sternum. It was still there, and you sighed in relief. If you accidentally lost control of your magic at a particularly emotional moment, you would undoubtedly lose any chance you had of becoming friends with anyone.

***

At Sans’s insistence that yes, really, it's going to be cold out, and enigmatic mentions of a shortcut, you stopped in the bathroom to change into the long, thick woolen skirt still sitting in your borrowed bag. You decided he probably just wanted to see you sweat uncomfortably in Hotland so he could make some asinine joke about it, but you were going to be polite to a fault. You were invited to dinner for maybe the second time in your life, and this time you weren't going to stumble over your words until you had a chance to stuff your mouth with pie. You pulled the clean skirt over your hip bones, then threaded your belt through the loops. Ah, but what about a shirt…? You loved your slouchy sweaters, but perhaps they were a bit too casual for this occasion. You dug through the densely packed bag, shrugging and sighing as the contents spilled onto the floor. Oh well, this made it easier. You knelt on the tile floor to sort through the clothes. You didn't need pants, you already had that part sorted out. You unceremoniously shoved the once-folded garments back into the bag. No use for being tidy if it meant keeping others waiting. You looked through your shirts with a discerning eye. Something more fitted seemed appropriate. Fitted, but modest. This was only your second quasi-formal meeting with these two. Your eyelights landed on a violet turtleneck, and you smiled. Perfect. Fitted, modest, and some color to brighten things up; after all, Sans seemed to like that blue jacket of his, and Papyrus’s armor was stunningly vibrant. You felt that you needed to up your color palette game to put them more at ease. Plus, you loved the color violet. It seemed to resonate with your SOUL. You reminded your current shirt and pulled the turtleneck over your skull, then twirled in front of the mirror. You looked good, if you did say so yourself. The turtleneck hung a bit loosely around the vertebrae in your neck, but that was only natural. However, when your eyes met your sternum you frowned. The pendant formed an awkward bulge in the fabric. There was no hiding it like this, you thought as you retrieved the pendant and let the cord sit over your collar. Besides, it was a pretty crystal, easily taken as a tasteful accessory. Nothing suspicious about wearing a pretty necklace, was there? Did other monsters even wear jewellery, or was that a human thing you’d read about? You sighed for the fifth time in the past few minutes. Deep breaths. You needed to take deep breaths. So long as you didn't act like you had anything to hide, they wouldn't suspect anything, right? Right. You nod at yourself in the mirror, stooping to shove the rest of your belongings back into the bag.

The door to the bathroom popped open with a clack, and you found yourself physically jumping up, wielding...Elly...at Alphys. As though the stuffed doll were a weapon. Alphys yelped, and you felt magic creeping up to your cheekbones as you sheepishly put the doll back in your bag.

“Uh...s-sorry!” Alphys said, “I just came t-to see if you were ready yet? Oh my god you could have been naked I’m so sorry--but you weren’t! S-so, um...A-are you? Ready I mean!”

You found yourself chuckling nervously. “I believe so, yes. I certainly do not feel ready, but I don’t suppose there’s really any way of preparing myself other than dressing for the occasion.”

“Y-yes! Yes! You’re absolutely right. U-uhm, speaking of preparing yourself, I-I, uhm…” the yellow lizard scratched her scaly head with her claws as she pulled your phone out of a pocket in her labcoat. “I might have taken your phone? While you weren’t looking? Oh but it was just to upgrade it! I mean really all I had to do was remove the restrictions so it didn’t take long but...Um, now you can save contacts, and y-you can join the Undernet now if you want and post updates and look up things about monsters you don’t know yet and um…” It was Alphys’s turn to blush, and she looked away. You wondered what exactly she was thinking about, but weren’t given the chance to guess as she thrust the phone into your phalanges.

“A-also, um, feel free to spend the night,” Alphys said with a wicked grin that made your blush return with vengeance, “I have some things I need to do in the lower sections of the lab, so you probably wouldn’t sleep well from th-the noises.” She waggled a claw at you teasingly. “N-no fooling around in the middle of the night in Snowdin though!” You shoved your phone into the side pocket on your skirt and hastily exited the bathroom, Alphys’s snorting laughter echoing after you as you dragged your bag across the floor. You had to stop yourself as you turned the corner or you would have run right into Sans, who was standing hunched over his phone. He’d probably been listening in on your conversation, too. Wow, it seemed that between Alphys and Sans, they had maybe a teaspoon of decency when it came to private conversations. You shot Sans a very unimpressed scowl as he looked up from his phone’s screen and grinned at you.

“ready to go, then?” Sans said, glancing back down at his phone to quickly tap at the screen before he pocketed the device. You nodded when he looked up at you, and you slung your bag over your shoulder.  Much to your surprise, instead of keeping his hand in his pocket, Sans held it out to you, phalanges lazily parted. You recoiled. Was he going to try to  _ hold your hand _ ?

“c’mon kid, i’m not gonna bite,” the grinning skeleton said, raising his hand a bit more to emphasize his point, “‘s just a shortcut, but uh, ya gotta stick with me or you might get lost.”

You glared at Sans’s hand, then back up at him. He almost looked a bit nervous, as if he might actually lose you if you didn’t hold his hand. Still, you hesitated. You weren’t exactly accustomed to physical contact, and here this guy was, telling you to hold his hand to cross damn near the entire Underground, from what you understood. You looked pleadingly over your shoulder at Alphys, who only gave you an encouraging thumbs up.

Great.

You rolled your eye lights, grumbled a curt “fine”, and took the shorter skeleton’s hand in yours. You found that his fingers were thicker but also noticeably shorter than yours, and you easily wrapped yours around his entire hand. He pulled you forward and you started following behind him.

At first, you just seemed to be walking normally. However, a spooky blow emanated from one of Sans’s eyes, and you felt your SOUL beating frantically as your surroundings lurched and warped, folding over themselves like an accordion. You felt hot, dry wind rush over you, and caught glimpses of flashing metal and bubbling magma, quickly followed by running water, the scent of moist earth and mushrooms and something else--fish?-- and a flash of bright bioluminescence. Then, everything was cold and white and green, and the strange accordion-folded effect stretched out to return to a continuous, recognizable environment. You could make out several buildings lining your path, all decorated with vibrant strings of lights. Sans finally stopped, and you found yourself gasping for breath. Your head whipped around to look behind you, only to see a long, snow-coated path lined with trees.

“Sans, what the hell did you just do?!”

“heh, sorry about that, pal,” Sans said, “i probably shoulda warned you about the quick scene change, but uh...yer still holdin’ my hand. you can let go now, we’re here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, I gotta tell ya, it took me a while to figure out how I wanted Sans's shortcuts to work. I hope I described it well, let me know! :)  
> I've also decided that I'm never gonna tell you guys what I think will be in the next chapter, because look at how well that worked out for me. Namely, not at all. Two whole chapters without the promised spaghetti. Don't worry though, guys, I did not forgetti the spaghetti. I just kind of accidentally made stuff happen between the promise of spaghetti and the actual spaghetti. I considered just taking this chapter out, but no, I think these scenes were pretty important to the story.  
> I will tell you this, I certainly don't plan on the next chapter taking an entire month;;  
> Thanks for reading!


	13. The Surprise Was Spaghetti

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three skeleton monsters eat some spaghetti.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya guys, told you it wouldn't take as long for this chapter. I'm currently in the process of finding a place to live, so chapters are still gonna be kinda slow, but right now I'm sick and don't have a whole lot to do other than cough the crap out of my lungs and sleep and drink hot tea, so who knows, I might put out another chapter within the next week or so. We'll see.
> 
> Enjoy!

Shoes. You’d forgotten to wear shoes, you’d realized with a shiver as you snatched your hand away from Sans. You took that opportunity to blush and stare indignantly at your feet, and there were your socks, being soaked through by several inches of powdery snow.

You continued to shiver as Sans knocked on the door, much to your chilled amusement. Didn’t he live here?

You heard a startled “nyeh” from within the building, and you pasted a chattering smile on your face as Papyrus opened the door wearing a ridiculous chef’s hat and an apron that said “kiss the  cook cool skeleton”, with the last two words written quite enthusiastically in permanent marker on the stained canvas.

“Sans! I am glad to see you were a gentleskeleton and escorted our new skeleton friend here, and even knocked! But…” his eyes narrowed as his gaze lowered to your feet, and you shifted your weight from one to the other uncomfortably. “New skeleton, your footwear is severely lacking! My brother brought you here before you were ready, didn’t he? And he didn’t even carry you or lay his jacket down to keep your lady-skeleton feet dry! Tisk tisk, Sans, let me, the Great Papyrus, show you how it is done!” he stepped forward and, before you could protest, Papyrus hooked one arm behind your knees and the other around your torso and picked you up with ease. You yelped, eye lights growing wide as the tall skeleton carried you into his home and, turning left, somehow managed to both gently and unceremoniously drop you onto a slightly sunken green couch. “Now, my friend, please remove your socks so that The Great Papyrus can set an example of hostmanship and dry them for you, the most honored guest!”

“Erm, alright, thank you,” you managed, still slightly shocked as you peeled the dripping socks off your cold feet. Papyrus gingerly took them from you, and you gave him a grateful smile before he went into the kitchen and disappeared around the corner.

You dug your toes into the carpet, and felt the chilly wind abruptly stop entering the house as Sans closed the door behind him. As your feet slowly warmed from the lack of moisture, you took in your surroundings. The house seemed fairly plain, with the mismatched furniture that seemed customary for monsters in the Underground. Your furniture, too, was mismatched, seeing as Alphys had scavenged it from the refuse that gathered near Waterfall. Other than an abandoned sock that appeared to have a pile of passive-aggressive sticky notes stuck to it, and a rock that was surrounded by vibrant sprinkles, everything in the living room seemed fairly normal. You inhaled deeply, and couldn’t help but close your eye sockets. The smells coming from the kitchen were heavenly. You could smell tomatoes and herbs, a much more robust aroma than your usual nightly cup o’ noodles. This may as well have been fine cuisine by comparison.

Your eye sockets snapped back open as you felt the couch sink next to you as Sans slouched into it with a sigh.

“i took far too few breaks today,” Sans noted, earning a glare from you, “‘s nice to rest.”

“I suppose,” you responded, keeping your sockets narrowed at him, “we did get quite a bit done today.” You decided that Sans looked far too pleased with himself as he sank farther into the couch. If he relaxed any farther, you were sure he’d be swallowed whole by the cushions.

Getting only a grunt in response, you decided that the conversation was on hold and went back to looking around the place. Upstairs, you spotted a painting of a femur on the far wall. You weren’t sure if you should consider it artistic or scandalous. Were skeleton monsters normally scandalized by having major bones exposed? Sans wore athletic shorts that exposed his but, then again, he could hardly be considered the peak of proper manners. You decided that it must be artistic; Papyrus, after all, surely wouldn’t allow anything lewd to be put so openly on display. Moving on, you glanced over the two doors you assumed to lead to the two brothers’ rooms, your eyes following the railing down the stairs, glossing over the wall and landing on the side table past Sans’s grinning skull. There was a thick tome on it titled “Quantum Physics”. It seemed very out of place. Sans caught your gaze and his smile grew. Oh no, that couldn’t mean anything good.

“Don’t tell me that book belongs to you,” you said.

“yeah,” Sans replied, grin now spanning his entire jaw, “i guess you could say i’ve dabbled. ‘s all theoretical, though. doesn’t amount to a whole lot.” he shrugged as though things like string theory were child’s play, but you knew better. You knew. That shit-eating bag of bones was proud of himself.

“Please!” you huffed. “Don’t act like you weren’t  _ just _ folding space around us to get here moments ago!”

Sans’s expression quickly shifted from smug to shocked, his eye lights growing wide. “wait a sec...how’d you know?”The shorter skeleton was in awe. You felt a pang of satisfaction in knocking him down a few pegs.

“I...I’ve read far more than enough scientific books and science fiction novels to know the basics, I just...pieced two and two together! That’s all. Your reaction simply confirmed my suspicions.” To be honest, you weren’t sure if you had even read about something like what Sans had done, but your mind had automatically parsed the information, which you weren’t about to try and explain.

Sans’s gaze on you intensified, and you could’ve sworn his pupils were twinkling like the stars you’d seen the previous night. He actually sat up straight, which seemed quite a feat for him. “really? ya like sci-fi stuff too? what all have ya read? asimov? orson scott card? hawking, right?” He placed a hand on your lap, making you flinch slightly. You hadn’t expected this sort of response. It was almost endearing.

Almost.

As if on cue, Papyrus returned to the living room, bringing a fresh waft of food trailing behind him. “Sans! I am glad to see you are getting along so well with our new skeleton friend, but you must do your duty as co-host and help set the table!” You sighed with relief as Sans withdrew his hand and extracted himself from the couch. Prolonged physical contact still wasn’t your thing, it still felt too...intimate was too strong a word. Foreign? You watched as Sans grabbed a fistful of silverware, bringing it to the slightly rusty folding card table that had been set up as a dining table. Perhaps you were simply overreacting. After all, all the other monsters seemed accustomed to frequent physical contact. It must be normal. You simply...weren’t. This thought brought your mood down a little, but before you could go down that mental rabbit hole, Papyrus announced that the table was set and the food was ready. As you took your place at the table, the taller skeleton placed a large, steaming pile of spaghetti between the three of you, and began to serve everyone, chattering about how it was a new recipe Undyne had taught him. Some of the noodles were undercooked where they were stuck together, and the sauce was a bit runny, but it was certainly one of the best things you had eaten, second only to Toriel’s pie. As your SOUL metabolized the magic it was made with, you could definitely tell how much care Papyrus had put into making it. You felt your negativity ebb away with each bite, and even when Sans drowned his share in ketchup(seriously, who would do that to such a tasty dish?), you couldn’t bring yourself to do anything to smile with a faint hint of fondness toward your fellow skeletons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuckin nerdy-ass skeletons.


	14. Skeleton Sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You spend the night with the skeleton brothers, and nothing suspicious happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya guys! Sorry for taking so long, and for the short chapter. I've been dealing with the near-impossible task of finding an affordable place to live, but it looks like my boyfriend's parents might be willing to buy a cheap house and rent it to us and a friend for way cheaper than anywhere else would locally, so that's been eating up a lot of my attention, and probably will for a while longer yet until we actually get a place and move in. I haven't forgotten about this fic, I promise! I've just been stressed out ;_; So sorry if the writing seems wonky at all, I kinda churned most of this one out in maybe an hour and a half so it isn't great, but it's something.
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!

Before you realized it, all the spaghetti had been eaten; you had been talking with the skeleton brothers long after you’d finished your third plate. No, maybe not. It would be more apt to say that you were listening to them. At one point, you complimented Papyrus on his cooking, and he immediately burst into a speech about his weekly “training” with Undyne, how he was sure he’d soon have the prowess to cook other types of pasta, or maybe even a non-tomato-based sauce. Sans regarded his brother with a relaxed fondness the entire time, and frequently encouraged his brother’s confidence. It caused a numbing ache in your SOUL you couldn’t quite place, but you decided not to dwell on it too much; you’d been feeling all sorts of strange since the barrier shattered.  
After Papyrus cleaned up the plates(no, really, miss skeleton friend, it is absolutely a host’s duty to ensure the guest doesn’t do any of the work), the tall skeleton roped you and Sans into watching one of Mettaton’s various movies. After all, he reasoned, what would a slumber party be without proper entertainment? You noticed Sans’s ever so slight grimace at that, and for once you sympathized. You hadn’t exactly seen much of Mettaton in person, but what you had seen was certainly something to be taken in small doses, certainly not the length of an entire movie. However, you didn’t want to seem rude to your new friends. Wait, did you say friends? Papyrus maybe, Sans certainly not. Definitely friend, singular. Sans was an acquaintance, at best.  
Speaking of Sans, however, he had been terribly well-behaved all night. That is, until you realized he’d all-too-conveniently fallen asleep maybe twenty minutes into the movie. Maybe between the fact that Papyrus seemed somewhat accustomed to Sans’s antics and the fact that the taller skeleton was so engrossed in what seemed to be his favorite movie, that far-too-smug jerk could get away with dozing off, but you were frequently jostled by Papyrus as he gushed over Mettaton’s “clearly superior acting skills”. The ending of the movie came not a moment too soon. You felt a certain fondness and comfort in Papyrus’s presence, but his taste in entertainment seemed to be lacking. After Sans escorted his younger brother to bed(read: was woken up and dragged to Papyrus’s room for his bedtime story), you quickly changed into your warm purple flannel pajamas and curled up under the worn but comfortable blanket that had been provided to you on the couch. You felt the sunken cushions slowly envelop you like a cocoon as you drifted off to sleep. At one point, you could have sworn you felt a blue glow wash over you, but it passed quickly enough that it was likely some combination of your imagination and a dream.  
* * *  
You woke up to the smell of something savory and...eggs? It seemed food was being prepared for you again. This was a foreign concept to you; never had so much care been put into your sustenance. Instant noodles had been adequate for longer than you could remember, but your past few meals had been...Enjoyable. You had read about food being a pleasurable venture, but you had assumed it was some strange human thing. Meals that were dehydrated and only needed the addition of hot water seemed much more efficient than the tedious process of cooking, and yet, you felt yourself grow eager to eat as you glanced toward the kitchen from your warm cocoon.  
You felt your jaw go slack in shock as you saw Sans yawning drowsily in front of the open oven door, peering into a pan with some sort of pie. You found it mildly alarming that a monster with as lazy a demeanor as Sans would take an interest in baking.  
“Ah! Miss new skeleton!” Papyrus called from the card table you’d eaten from the previous night, “You are finally among the conscious! Please, feel free to use our bathroom to get dressed, as you are in for a treat this fine morning! I managed to get my lazy brother to cook for us!”  
You quirked one side of your browbone at Sans, who glanced up at you as he re-inserted the pan into the oven and closed the door, shrugging nonchalantly.  
You decided as you walked to the bathroom that Sans’s cooking was probably not to be trusted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no, Lucy! Don't eat the quiche, it's poisoned! :O


	15. A Speedy Exit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some skeletons have a nice breakfast.

You emerged from the bathroom, fully dressed in a violet v-necked sweater and another plain black woolen skirt. Sans and Papyrus were sitting patiently at the fold-out table, which had been set with plates and silverware. Papyrus perked up at the sight of you.  
“Miss skeleton! You are looking quite lovely this morning, and just in time for Sans to serve his quiche!” Papyrus quipped happily, patting the chair to his left, which was across from Sans.  
Of course it was across from Sans.  
You managed a smile as you smoothed your skirt under your pelvis and sat down. Sans grinned as he picked up a knife and cut into the dish sitting in the middle of the table. It looked like a pie, and it had a crust like a pie, but it looked like scrambled eggs with various ingredients on top and throughout, with melted cheese on top. You stared in anticipation in spite of yourself.  
“If you don’t mind me asking, what is this dish?” You asked in earnest, “Some sort of strange pie?”  
“Miss skeleton, I am not sure what this ‘pie’ is, but this is a quiche!” Papyrus replied while Sans grinned wider, plating slices of the strange pastry-like food.  
“Yes, I caught the name, but what is in it?”  
“Eggs, cheese, spinach,” Sans said, counting on his fingers with the knife in his opposite hand, “milk, tomatoes...all in a crust. Nothing to get too eggs-cited about, kiddo.”  
“I most certainly am not eggs-cited, Sans,” you snapped, picking your fork up and immediately cutting into your slice in complete opposition to your protests.  
“Sans!” Papyrus practically shrieked, “No puns at the breakfast table!”  
“I agree,” you say, nodding as you put your first bite of quiche pas your teeth, “it’s too early for--” your eye lights grew wide and you nearly dropped your fork.  
The quiche was delicious.  
“How,” you uttered, staring wide-eyed but accusingly at Sans.  
“How?” Sans smirked, resting his jaw on one hand as he scooped heaping forkfuls of egg into his unmoving mouth.  
“How,” you continued, “could someone with such little class make something so sophisticated as this?”  
“Thanks for the compliment, kiddo,” Sans replied, winking, “You could say I’m a…”  
“SANS, NO!!!” Papyrus pleaded.  
“Con-quiche-tador.”  
You didn’t think Papyrus could have left the building more abruptly. Or loudly.  
Miraculously, you kept eating, although you stared daggers into Sans the entire time, your expression void of humor.  
“Pap’s getting better at his exits,” Sans noted with a chuckle, “last time he broke the door down, took us a while to find new hinges.”  
“Hm.” You continued to chew, silently metabolizing the quiche. Damn it, why did it have to be delicious?  
“Anyway, I’m glad you seem to like my cooking. Doesn’t happen often, let me tell ya.”  
“Hm.”  
“So, uh...Al got any work for us today?” You noticed a small bead of sweat begin to form on his forehead. Oh, sorry, were you making him uncomfortable?  
“I am not sure,” you said curtly.  
“Oh. Well, I’ll just shoot her a message then.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket, staring down at the screen for a few moments while you finished off the quiche. Within moments, his phone chirped with his message tone. “Looks like she’s gonna be working on extending the range of the undernet signal, gonna see if she can’t reach Tori or the kid and get some news. Doesn’t wanna be bothered.” he shrugged, then looked at you pointedly. “I thought you were her assistant or somethin’, kiddo, what’s up with her blockin’ ya out all of a sudden?”  
You stopped eating, your eye lights grew faded. You placed your fork down and dabbed at your jaw with a napkin as you formed your response. “I only occasionally assist Alphys in her ventures. She’s mostly a very solitary monster when it comes to her work.” You looked up at him, hoping he bought your response. In reality, you had no idea why Alphys kept you out of her work. She seemed to get anxious when you mentioned it, in fact. But that was none of this smug, quiche-baking, nosey-yet-noseless monster's business.  
“Huh, that makes sense I guess,” Sans said, standing up from the table without bothering to pick up his plate, “Well, unless Paps comes back sometime soon, I guess it’s just you and me for the day then, kiddo.” He audibly scratched the back of his skull with his phalanges.  
Great, you thought, just what you needed, an opportunity to be around this jerk all day. You wondered if you could somehow manifest the ability to phase into the floor, because you certainly weren’t looking forward to being around a near-complete stranger all day, let alone this one. You could feel your SOUL pulsing frantically in your ribcage. You had a bad feeling about this whole situation. But you decided you had to swallow it and keep going. These sorts of feelings weren’t likely to stop anytime soon, and you were probably just being shy after years of being alone. Wasn’t this even what you’d wanted, an end to your loneliness? Certainly not like this, but you didn’t exactly have a choice in the matter. Alphys didn’t want to be bothered, and Papyrus clearly had better things to do than listen to Sans’s awful humor. Lucky him.  
“Hey, uh, I’m a fan of science and all, but I don’t think you should be spacing out on me there, pal,” Sans said, causing you to flinch. When had you stopped paying attention? “I was askin’ if there was somewhere ya wanted to go.”  
“What? Oh, euh, well,” you said intelligently, “I can’t exactly go anywhere without proper footwear!” Yes, excellent, you chided yourself, use the first excuse you can find to avoid interacting with other monsters or exploring the home you’ll soon leave.  
“oh, uh, heh. already taken care of, pal,” Sans said, gesturing to the doormat, where your boots were, wait...how long had your boots been there?! You shot Sans a questioning glare. “hey now, don’t look at me like that. i took a shortcut to the lab after you were asleep and brought them over. you kinda left them in the bathroom, by the way.”  
Eying him cautiously, you pulled your boots on. “i figure i’d give ya a tour of the place,” Sans continued, “since alph made it sound like ya don’t get out too much.”  
You frowned. Okay, now you had a really bad feeling about this. This sort of discomfort was bound to happen, you remind yourself. It could be completely innocent. You might have misjudged his character.  
Pffffbbbfft.  
Your SOUL nearly leapt out of your body at the noise. You looked down at your left boot, which felt a bit tight around your toes. Sans snorted, and covered his shit-eating grin with a mittened hand.  
“the old whoopie-cushion-in-the-shoe trick never gets old,” he chuckled, despite your unimpressed expression. You promptly took the boot off, pulled the offending toy out, and threw it straight at his face.  
Nevermind, this day was going to be torture.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys. GUYS. I'm alive! I successfully moved to a place last year, and I've been spending a lot of the time since then adjusting to Adult Life and attempting to not strangle my roommate for being a slob. I've even taken up gardening...kinda. We'll see. Excuses aside, I had a major writer's block, because I wanted to work out a few details of the story before I continued writing. Lucky, my lovely friend mischiefpumpkin (edit: sinnabee here on AO3) helped me spitball ideas(and shame me for not working on this fic), and now I've got plenty of quality plot and worldbuilding to throw at you guys. She's a lovely lady, you guys should check out her fics and give her love. :D  
> Hopefully I'll be able to get chapters out a bit more regularly now that I have a better idea of where the heck this story is going.  
> P.S.: What the heck, guys. I consistently got hits and kudos at least once a month since I posted the last chapter. Y'all are masochists.


End file.
